Saturday nights at sainsburys are a new experience. The ice cream freezers are eerily empty,the other aisles are deserted. I have a bottle of diet coke in one hand that I'm taking gulps from and a bottle of hp BBQ sauce in the other. I'm narrating my joy trip around the store in the third person. They're out of the 27p sainsbury's peanuts. That's a shame. I wouldn't have bought any but it's still a shame. I like knowing that they're there. should have bought the 2 litre bottle of diet coke, only 69p more. It gets flat though by the time you get through it. Whiskey would be nice too. I really hate using my ID. I give the aisle where I know the condoms are a mental sneer of contempt just because I feel like I should be more bitter about that element of failure. I stand in line at the front counter where they sell cigarettes and lottery tickets behind a fat, bald, sun burnt middle aged man wearing a cap. The cloth tag of the cap is curled out of the inside of the cap so that it sticks out slightly off the surface of his head. his neck is red and flaky where the rolls of fatty flesh fold on each other. The man behind me keeps nudging me with his basket while he twists his body at badly, carelessly calculated angles to take a good touirsty gawk around the store, see if he can buy anything else. One of those arrogant bastards who're always nudging people with their baskets and pretending not to notice that they did it. I flinch, almost jump. I was nervous enough before the diet coke.I forgot to tell my mum I was going to sainsbury's. I left my phone at home too fuck she's going to call the police or something I can't be arsed for more drama. Maybe I'll just stay here. The man behind me hits me with his basket again.He doesn't show any recognition of the fact. I really want to punch him in the balls. The cashier is retardedly slow.Fat, burnt guy bought something from the deli.It's wrapped up but it's the size and shape of a chicken. My turn. I get a bag but I take the diet coke In my and and put the BBQ sauce in my coat pocket. It takes the cashier him a whole extra second over the norm to hand me back my change. £2.65.
Jingle.
